Bitter Fruit, a Persona 4 fanfic

Title: Bitter Fruit
Summary: You know what the most horrible feeling in the world is, right?
Rating: T
Pairing: One-sided Kanji/Yosuke, one-sided Yosuki/Souji.
Warnings: Slash, angst
Disclaimer: Belongs to Atlus. WHERE IS STRANGE JOURNEY, FATLUS? MAKE IT HAPPEN!

You know what the most horrible feeling in the world is, right?

Maybe for you, it's being unable to tell your mother how much you love and care for her instead of having to show her in some crazy, roundabout way. Thought I admit that I'd like to see how you do it this time.

Maybe it's despite the fact that they are your friends, no matter who you are and no matter what happens, but you still can't bear to know that they saw you like that, in your weakened and exposed form. You were ugly.

And even though you suppose the whole experience made you a better person and allowed you to face up and deal with the truth, maybe you feel horrible that you still have to be tough and brave and put on a show for everyone. But maybe that's just who you really are. Maybe you've been at it for so long that it's been chiseled into your psyche now.

But is it really a reason to hide from your friends, from those who love and support you? Why hurt the ones that want to help? Maybe that's where all the guilt you secretly harbour comes from.

Or maybe the most horrible feeling in the world is the fact that the one you're in love with – yes, him – is oblivious. Perhaps not completely, but you can see him clinging to the past he had. Because when you're sleeping with him and despite the desires and strong emotions at your core you know it's all a meaningless fling.

And this is all cemented even further when he mouths and sometimes moans a name that is not yours. It just makes you want to grab him and shake him and tell him he needs to wake up to reality and that Souji isn't there anymore, that he never really shared those feelings Yosuke nurtured so tenderly.

Or maybe the most horrible feeling in the world is the fact that you can't say those words at all, and it sickens you. Deep down, it's a rude slap that one could easily turn back towards you, and you know it would make perfect sense.

Whatever the most horrible feeling in the world is, I can see a common point between all of them.

You don't have the courage to say what you feel.

And you can't figure out why you don't.

END